I’m feeling Coldplay tonight, here is The Scientist. Nobody said it was easy, nobody said it would be this hard, I’m going back to the back to the start.
I knew that this chill pace of life wouldn’t last - i’m still in North America and a major city no less. I wouldn’t have minded this fast pace, but it’s been a month of nothing and now things are starting to ramp up. I’m starting to slow down. I’m overloaded. Not even with homework and class but the emotional side of things. I’m down with emotions and feelings and just want shalom! There so many…conflicts between people right now and I feel like I am in the middle and there are no solutions. This is very much a lesson in community life and conflict resolution. But I need a place a refuge and I’m not finding one yet - probably because my only place of refuge is with Matt and distance kills that.
I think i’ve said this before, but networking takes everything out of me and that is what this school is based on. I’ve come to accept that. I know see that falling in love with the city takes more than reading books but getting out, meeting people, and hearing their stories. Today I made the first steps.
I’m not really sure why I am here. I don’t know what I want out of this, what God wants out of this, what the school wants out of me, or what my church back home wants out of all of this. I’m slowly discovering some of this but it really is all unclear. I think my objective here is to learn to love this city, these people. To understand their story and be able to passionately tell it back home. There are times when I feel like I am the worst person for this - I am Anglophone, Protestant, and Western Canadian, everything the Quebecois have been taught to hate. At other times, I feel like I am the perfect person for this. Today was one of those good days.
The conference this weekend was really rewarding. Stuart Murray from England gave us an overview of this transition from Christendom to Post-Christendom that most of the Western world is facing, and how we as church/Christians/followers of Jesus (there was a good debate on whether we should even use these terms anymore) can survive in this new time. His suggestion is that we should all become Mennonite! Not really, but the Anabaptist tradition is being looked at for inspiration. We have spent 500 years living on the margins and have been Christ outside of Christendom. Some time was also spent on the Emergent church movement and how we should deal/embrace that. (There is a church in England that targets the Goth sub-culture and is called The Gloriously Undead, how interesting). A lot of interesting ideas were brought up and not all of it related to Montreal, the whole Catholic heritage creates a lot more animosity than in England. It also isn’t so relevant to back home - but many foresee Vancouver following closes behind Montreal or England. We can learn a lot here.
But now to the most interesting parts of the conference! The people. I meet a pastor from Abbotsford (because the Mennonite world is so small!) and a guy I had previously meet at a MCC conference in Ottawa. There was about 40 people there today (Saturday) and all of them are wealth’s of resources. I got to talk to a few and got some contact info to further discuss. This in itself is a big deal for me - and so draining. But I feel good and have made some progress.
Tomorrow is church. I hope it is refreshing and not draining. Time to recharge.
Running in circles, coming in tails, heads on a science apart.
1 year ago